Merry Christmas Eve everyone!!!!


At last, my excitement has been awaiting this part!!! ^_^

Such awesome filled moments await my arrival. heheheh


Christmas last year REALLY sucked.
But this one shall RULE.

So many pwesents :D :D :D I'm so excited to see what all I get. And I'm so excited to see everyone open the presents I got them. YEEEEEE....!

Still have some presents to wrap, but all in due time m'lord.




Off to sleep moar. :D


^_^ Merry Cwismas.

Another year has came and gone.

So fast...

It was like just yesterday that I was opening my presents LAST year. lol.

This year has been so wonderful and amazing. I would not trade it for the world. So many laughs, so many great memories. SO much Love, and amazement.

This new year, will be my year of hope. I hope to accomplish many great things in the upcoming year.
I would like to completely revamp myself.
Starting with being healthy. lol

Even though this past year has been a total uplift in spirits, its been a long journey for my body. >.< XD
So much eating out, and lounging, and being LAZY. D:<
I hate being lazy. It's boring. But feels good. lol
It's okay to be lazy every once in a while. But I take it to an extreme. lol

So HOPEfully, i'll be changing that real soon.

Nothing can be accomplished if I think I somehow can't do something.
I can only have a positive attitude towards everything I plan on doing.
To see full results. :D



I love ambition.


<3

Soo...


Things really aren't going so great for me.

I'm on the verge of losing two very important things to me.
Not a good way to start out the week...


I'm so like ready to just quit all of this shit, you have no idea. It's driving me nuts.
I don't know what to do about anything.
I make up excuses for things, when I know damn well things are my fault.
I can't blame anyone else anymore.
It's getting too much.

I'm not sleeping right anymore.
I'm constantly paranoid that bad things are always going to happen, which they do.
I have no motivation to do anything.
And when I do, it's at the most obscure times.

I can't keep my head straight on things
and I feel like I'm letting go of everything that I hold dear.

I want to just go away for a while. And maybe stay there, so I don't have to come back
To all my problems here. =(

But I know I'll start new problems, so what's the point?
I've grown to be so pessimistic, covering it with irrational optimism.
I constantly think that everything is going to be okay, when I know it won't be.
All I can do is say "I don't care". But deep down, I know I do.

I need to straighten my life out. I need to stop being this little child all the time, in my own little protective world.

I'm going to be fucking 20 years old in like 2 months. This is not how a 20 year old should act.
I shouldn't be here writing about this. I should be acting upon my solutions.
But instead I just sit here and think "what if?" about EVERYTHING.


I need something to do....x.x